Wisdom from Planet Tom

Balancing is when you don't fall off!

They speak vegetarian here! [In a wholefood café.]

I know it's a girl cat because of its eyelashes!

I can't see Ted, but I can smell him.

I'm turning into a polar bear: then I'll be able to keep the whole house cold! [On seeing a mark on his leg on a hot day.]

To make a rocket go on fire at the bottom, you use string and put it in the holes, normally.

[Discussing possible callers at a police station.] Squawk! I'm a parrot and I've had all my feathers stolen!

That way (points to his left) is tomorrow. And that other way (points right) is yesterday.

You can tell when a lady is a baddy because she wears sparkly dresses.

Is science a sort of playing?

I'll tell you a fact: your legs are stronger than gravity, because you can jump.

I'm an Albanian woolly mammoth. What's special about an Albanian woolly mammoth? It's like a normal woolly mammoth, but Albanian.